The Jar. MY Jar.

Sometimes all I want is just a jar of dreams. A litterel, yet poetic, jar full of dreams.
Why? Because it's simple and it's brilliant and it would make me happy, very very happy.
You see my jar would have everything I stand for my hopes, my dreams. it would hold with in it and also symolis the person I want to be, the person I might one day be being.
I can talk all day, every day, about wanting to change. But that jar, that would be the prodect of my starting to change.

So I think I might start filling a jar with notes of dreams. I'll open it at the last day of summer, not to check what I have done. But to check what I might try to do next year. I like this plan.

The Labyrinth (of suffering)

The way out is straight and fast, that's not new. But the real point of the book is how to survive the labyrinth. i like it, i like the idea that forgiveness is the way to cope with with life and loss. but the things is i have never been any good at that i just box the labyrinth, and any other feeling i have and a little box and hide it.
i don't react to emotions the normal way and i don't face things. not towards me or anyone else.
people say that i am unforgiving, and i am. i expect highly of myself and anyone i consider trustworthy. just like i wouldn't forgive me i wouldn't forgive anyone else just like 'that'. people have to prove that they've learnt from their mistakes to be forgiven, they need to prove that they are better. forgiveness that is arbitrary is not sincere and when i forgive someone i want to mean it not just say it.

so that's my point, sometimes you need to be stuck, suffering, in the labyrinth in order to earn your survival.