i slipped up

i did. i 'had' her, i was with her, we were happy it was fun and she was amazing and i wanted to be good to her and it was great. but she said forever, and that she couldn't be without me, so i freaked, and i had to go away, because i can't have forever with our history. but i can't have forever without her, it sucks. so i tried a clean break, i told her some of it, and broke up, and went for the scorched earth tactic...because if we'd still be talking i'd stay in love with her until something would make me stop talking to her, so i can't be around her, but i want to.
i have one thing i have to ask of her, which i know i can't, to find a good guy, a nice guy, someone better than me, so she'll be happy, and have her forever.
well, i wouldn't believe it, but i'm alone again, unnaturally.