An answer, you owe me that much.

There was a hole where you were meant to be.  When you left and I was sad I felt a hole, and then when you bent me over and tore me a new one and I was mad there was an acid burn and I was hurt. And then you came back, you came back and you tried to bridge something you didn't know was there

Can I explain what you did wrong? You forgot to account for change, we were, and I'll admit that for a portion of it, it was good, and then we weren't and we aren't. You forgot to account for change, that you changed and I changed and I don't believe that we fit anymore. Something changed for you, so you ran scared to what you thought was good, was once good, and that's normal, but it's not ok by me. I'm a person, I have real feeling and wants and opinions, and I am not a consolation prize, I am not someone to fall back on when all else has failed, I have changed, and I deserve better than being the rebound. If you want things to change, change them or let them be. If you want me around then account for change, respect that it’s a new dynamic and create something new. And for god's sake stop being such a bitch about it, I've known you to be better, if you want to start something new begin with that, be better.

and that's it: "just breath and call me when you're sober"

why?!

the next couple of posts are letters i will never send to my ex. the context is that she came back, she tried bridging our problem...i told her to shove it...but i wrote these anyways.

I get it, you don't like nerds, that's fine, I always saw it, that you didn't respect me, or the way I am, I get it. But you owe me an explanation, you owe me that much, because you came back to me, twice, or you tried, what were you thinking, that since you are I am? That the world can be seen through your mirror?! You came back twice, to do what? To insult me?!  To remind yourself who I am? Who I was to you? Because you didn't get that, on the best day we've had you didn't get the real me, and that's why it was crappy, because we talked so much, and you didn't know me, and you still don't. You came back twice, I don't like you, but that still means something, why? Why did you come back? What did you expect? What do you want from me, I tried giving you what I thought you needed, a clean break, and that didn't work, and messy did, so I did that for you, even though it felt horrible to me, so what do you want from me? What the hell is your problem that you have to be like that towards me?