so i found that facebook keeps inbox messages even after they're deleted and i stupidly checked...and well that sucked. it's not that i feel pain or depression it's just that it sucks that i can finely prove it and i'm still the one alone.
so i decided to commemorate my feelings and the text so that the whole none of you can see it. i really hope that this is the last i'll be writing on this subject, but i can't promise that because i'm alone and every now and again i get lonely so i think it's ok that it comes up sometimes, because it's not a crippling reality anymore it's a faded memory of me being someone i used to be, someone i'm not proud i was, someone from whom i measure my progress and to whom i compare my faults.
now comes a statement with no connection to any of the rest of it then the text.
i've been a jerk to a lot of people, none of which i am sorry for by the way. i drove off people for a reason and i stand by it. i am sorry for me though, because the person i was acting started leaking into who i was, who i am and that sucks, and it's not fair to me.
the text:
her:yeah, i did...i thought that you understood last time we talked...i start talks from this kind in this kind of situation with you from 2 reasons:
1. i'm super mega bored...
2. there is no one really online...
so kinda yeah....you were stupid enough to think that this time was "different"...and yeah, i got what i wanted...to have a laugh with my bro in here...your messages are super duper "emotionally" funny xDDD
funny how innocent you actually are...and how hard it is for you to pretend being careless and heartless...and how pathetic it looks when you actually bother writing here whole novels about how i "hurted" your feelings...(which suddenly appeared...just like this, out of nowhere xDD)....it's pathetic seeing you in love...you should consider stop doing it...you're not very good at it...you really should get back to physics...at least you're good at something.
and i forgot the best part...you actually believe that you hate me that much even tho every time i click my fingers you come back to me running like a fucking puppy telling me how much you love me? xDD
me:you're wrong again...the only thing i did wrong here was ever think something positive of a bitter bitch like you...you were right when you mentioned jimmy...you guys are perfect....he's an ass hole you're a cruel manipulator...it'll work.
the thing is i'm vindicated...none of this crap was my fault...the things i thought and heard about you before i got to know your lies where right...you play people...you're cold and you don't deserve warmth...and sense this was all a game for you trying to hurt me...you succeeded...but you failed, everything i felt bad about is gone...you aren't worth the oxygen burnt while thinking about you let alone complex genuine feelings, i hope you get what you deserve
her:I might be a manipulator...but i turned you into a person...and alot of people told me thanks.
you were a game for me...a little cute soldier...it was fun, i admit...but the game is over...time to throw it away..and so i did :))
and don't worry about me...i'll get alllllll i deserve...i actually get all i want...and you know it...so don't worry :)))
and i might be a cold bitch...but it's better than being a geeky gay overemotioned baby like you :))
and yes, Jimmy is alot better than you...in all sides, in all meanings...shame that you'll never be like him...never have friends, never have real fun, never actually live that life...keep study...maybe your geekness will give you the little something you can make out of your little pathetic life.
and you know why i played in you?
you were an easy target...so easy to manipulate you...so i did it...and so many other people will do...i'm sure in that :))
actually....there is one more thing you're good at...being a little soldier...a toy xD
there were previous ones..and once upon a time a word doc with all the texts and all the I.M-s and pics and all that jazz...but i deleted that for my own good, although i think it's still out there somewhere...but whatever i'm done with this crap.
so i decided to commemorate my feelings and the text so that the whole none of you can see it. i really hope that this is the last i'll be writing on this subject, but i can't promise that because i'm alone and every now and again i get lonely so i think it's ok that it comes up sometimes, because it's not a crippling reality anymore it's a faded memory of me being someone i used to be, someone i'm not proud i was, someone from whom i measure my progress and to whom i compare my faults.
now comes a statement with no connection to any of the rest of it then the text.
i've been a jerk to a lot of people, none of which i am sorry for by the way. i drove off people for a reason and i stand by it. i am sorry for me though, because the person i was acting started leaking into who i was, who i am and that sucks, and it's not fair to me.
the text:
her:yeah, i did...i thought that you understood last time we talked...i start talks from this kind in this kind of situation with you from 2 reasons:
1. i'm super mega bored...
2. there is no one really online...
so kinda yeah....you were stupid enough to think that this time was "different"...and yeah, i got what i wanted...to have a laugh with my bro in here...your messages are super duper "emotionally" funny xDDD
funny how innocent you actually are...and how hard it is for you to pretend being careless and heartless...and how pathetic it looks when you actually bother writing here whole novels about how i "hurted" your feelings...(which suddenly appeared...just like this, out of nowhere xDD)....it's pathetic seeing you in love...you should consider stop doing it...you're not very good at it...you really should get back to physics...at least you're good at something.
and i forgot the best part...you actually believe that you hate me that much even tho every time i click my fingers you come back to me running like a fucking puppy telling me how much you love me? xDD
me:you're wrong again...the only thing i did wrong here was ever think something positive of a bitter bitch like you...you were right when you mentioned jimmy...you guys are perfect....he's an ass hole you're a cruel manipulator...it'll work.
the thing is i'm vindicated...none of this crap was my fault...the things i thought and heard about you before i got to know your lies where right...you play people...you're cold and you don't deserve warmth...and sense this was all a game for you trying to hurt me...you succeeded...but you failed, everything i felt bad about is gone...you aren't worth the oxygen burnt while thinking about you let alone complex genuine feelings, i hope you get what you deserve
her:I might be a manipulator...but i turned you into a person...and alot of people told me thanks.
you were a game for me...a little cute soldier...it was fun, i admit...but the game is over...time to throw it away..and so i did :))
and don't worry about me...i'll get alllllll i deserve...i actually get all i want...and you know it...so don't worry :)))
and i might be a cold bitch...but it's better than being a geeky gay overemotioned baby like you :))
and yes, Jimmy is alot better than you...in all sides, in all meanings...shame that you'll never be like him...never have friends, never have real fun, never actually live that life...keep study...maybe your geekness will give you the little something you can make out of your little pathetic life.
and you know why i played in you?
you were an easy target...so easy to manipulate you...so i did it...and so many other people will do...i'm sure in that :))
actually....there is one more thing you're good at...being a little soldier...a toy xD
there were previous ones..and once upon a time a word doc with all the texts and all the I.M-s and pics and all that jazz...but i deleted that for my own good, although i think it's still out there somewhere...but whatever i'm done with this crap.
